There's a very simple explanation for it: baby preparations are stressful! Simply put, all of the wrong circumstances aligned and combined to twist me into a ball of emotions on this particular day.
So, when my husband got home from work, and then, almost immediately, had to turn around and leave to make it to the church band rehearsal on time, I totally lost it.
But my husband did something wonderful. He put down his guitar and his pedal board, knowing he had to leave that moment if he had a prayer of making it to rehearsal on time, and he sat on the couch with me and let me cry on his shoulders. He did so until I made him leave because I knew how late he was making himself. He let me have a chance to calm down, get it together, and let him leave the house.
Relationships depend a lot on proper prioritization. Timeliness on our church worship team is vital. It's a very big deal. It meant the world to me that my husband was willing to make himself late to something he values so much just to let me hug him an extra fifteen minutes.
I've watched a lot of relationships (not just dating, but friendships as well) deteriorate because of poor prioritization. We let other things take precedence over the people who should really be the most important. Sometimes this happens because we take for granted that those people know we love them, so we don't think they need the reassurance. And sometimes it's genuinely because we've lost sight of the people that are actually important because everything else has so rudely intruded on so much of our time.
What I'm encouraging you to do is very simple. Don't forget who matters to you. Prioritize them on purpose. There is a lot of pressure to give, give, give to everyone--to your friends, to your band, to your job, to your ministry--but don't forget about the people who mean most. When it comes to spouses and future spouses, it's up to you to put them in their place: the top! My boss once told me, "your husband is your first ministry," and that has really resonated with me. My ministries are closest to my heart, but my husband is also my ministry. And I'm the only one who can keep him in his place. And he does the same for me!
And, I'm telling you, until you understand this, until making that person your first ministry really resonates with you, you will struggle to find what you're looking for in a romantic relationship. In the same way that, in our relationships with God--which are supposed to be examples of our relationships with our spouses--we have to deny ourselves over and over again, we have to deny ourselves sometimes in our romantic relationships. We have to put our own agendas and plans aside, shut out the noise, and remember who's most important to us. We have to do this for each other constantly, and we have to trust each other to do this. Otherwise, we both end up only looking out for Number One, and we will both be constantly unsatisfied.
But because I can trust that my husband has me in my proper place in his heart, and he can trust that I have him in his proper place in my heart, we can both rest in the peace and love that comes with that trust. We can both be completely cared for without having the pressure of needing to look out for ourselves. And that's the ideal spot for me!
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