On The Ring

Yesterday morning, while I was getting ready for church, I noticed that my engagement ring needed some cleaning. So, while I blow-dried my hair, I let it soak in some hot water with baking soda and dish detergent. On my way to church, my ring caught the sunlight, and I smiled as I looked at it, in all its sparkle, and I thought about what it means to me.

Before my first date with my husband, before I was even considering going on a first date with my husband, before my husband and I were really even friends (we were acquaintances), I went to Ireland for a missions trip.

While in Ireland, I was looking for a souvenir for myself, and another girl on the trip pointed me in the direction of claddagh rings. Claddagh rings typically look like this:

They are used as Irish engagement rings and represent love (the heart), loyalty (the crown), and friendship (the hands). A claddagh ring is traditionally worn on the right hand's ring finger, and when a person is single, the heart of the ring faces outward toward the world, letting all eligible men and women know that the person is available. When a man or woman is in a relationship, the ring is turned around so that the heart face inward towards the wrist. And when a person has found the one that they want to spend the rest of their lives with, the ring is worn on the left hand's ring finger (just like an engagement ring).

I was never much for purity rings (there is nothing wrong with them, they just weren't for me). But something about this appealed to me; it was so incredibly romantic! So, I decided I would look for one for myself as well.

But I came across something even better. This:

That is a claddagh ring with the trinity on either side of the heart rather than the hands. I sat and pondered this ring, spinning it between my fingers over and over again and contemplating it. It meant something so much more to me. I reflected on something a pastor had told me when I was sixteen-years-old: "You and your future husband should collide in God's very presence." It was like, if the heart represented my romantic life (which had been, for lack of a better word, bumpy up until this point in my life), it needed to be taken out of my own hands and put in the middle of something else. There the heart was, safely protected under loyalty, and nestled in the presence of God, the inventor of romance itself.

I had to have it. And there it rested on my finger until the day it was replaced with my engagement ring (though there is a funny story about the time I lost it and had to replace it).

I told the ring's story absolutely everywhere I went. It was a daily physical reminder of how much God loves me, how much he was in love with me, and that he was taking care of me. For perhaps the first time in my life, I was completely satisfied in God with this part of my life. I finally understood the importance of surrendering these desires over to him. If I couldn't sustain my romantic relationship with God, how could I ever sustain it with another person? And by that I mean, if I couldn't remember how much God loved me, and held me together, and guided me, and provided for me, how could I see those things in a person? What an amazing time in my life. I had never felt so enveloped in love in my whole life.

The claddagh made for some pretty adorable moments in my relationship with my husband. I'll never forget the day he asked me to be his girlfriend (our second date, on the side of Stone Mountain, on one of the hottest days I can remember). Later that evening, while sitting on the same side of a booth in a place in Atlanta, my right hand in his, he asked, "don't we need to turn this around?" So he slipped it off my finger, turned it, and replaced it. What a stud. I am smiling like a giddy teenager even as I type this.

So, when it came time to find my engagement ring, my husband had mine made in Dublin, Ireland.

He had the trinity knots put on the band. When I first laid eyes on it, I couldn't believe how completely perfect it was!

So, the lesson here is simple: single or not, God is your first love. He is always going to be the Romancer of your soul. We have to be completely satisfied in him before we can be satisfied with another. I know that we say all the time we want a Christ-centered relationship, but I wanted a Christ-engulfed relationship. I wanted to, as the pastor told me, collide in the very presence of God.