Dublin—Day 8 and Final Thoughts

I haven’t blogged the last couple of days because I haven’t particularly had the time or the energy to spare to do so.

There’s a good chance that Friday was the best day for everyone on the trip. We had lunch at a place that claimed to serve American style food—although we would beg to differ—and then it was time for boys’ clubs at DCM. For this our group had to separate. Kyle, Aubrey and Becca went to play soccer with one club while Nathan, Kelly and I stayed at DCM to prepare for another. I haven’t heard a lot about the other group’s experience with their club, but from what I understand the boys were pretty rough, and Kyle had a wonderful opportunity to encourage and talk to the boys there. Nathan, Kelly and I had about two hours to kill before our club started, so we talked to Liesel and some of the other DCM workers. Also, Aaron—who basically grew up through the mission—came in with his friend, Liam, who has, undoubtedly the best voice I’ve ever heard from a guy my age—ever. End of story. Aaron asked me to sing for them as well—they had heard Aubrey and me practicing the day before—and they acted really impressed. Normally, I don’t put much into applause from other people, but the people in Dublin have been so real and genuine that I have no choice but to believe that they were sincere. 

Kyle, Aubrey and Becca came back just as my, Kelly and Nathan’s club was starting. Nathan led worship and taught the boys “Grin Again Gang,” and they taught us a song of their own. I meant to take a picture of the lyrics to this song, and I’m regretting not being able to remember them all, but it was totally fantastic and the team thoroughly enjoyed it.

I got to teach the boys a bible verse about helping others. I had so much fun. We did the balloon method for memory verses—each word of the verse goes on a balloon and volunteers from the audience get to pop two balloons, but then they have to recite the entire verse with the missing words. Naturally, everyone wanted to play—they’re boys—and I had a great time with them. Afterword, they played a rough game of basketball and Kelly and I did some dishes in the kitchen. 

Then it was time to prepare for Choose Life, their high school/college age group. I was very excited about this one—this is the age group I am used to! Nathan, Aubrey and I led worship (videos to be posted on Facebook later), and the group really enjoyed us. Later we found out that they never get to sing worship with music, so this was a real treat for them.

After Andrew shared a word it was free time. We played and laughed and danced and talked and really, genuinely connected with them. I didn’t want to leave when it was over.

My only regret is that it took that long for me to realize my purpose in all of this. Liesel confirmed this the next day at a debriefing with the team. We talked about the various ways we were used this week, even though the Queen’s presence in Dublin complicated a lot of our plans.

This is something I say often, but it’s very rarely present in such an obvious way in my life—we can make all the plans we want, but ultimately God is the Creator and Orchestrator of the Universe, and He is going to decide how things are going to go. Aubrey pointed out something that Liesel had said previously that went along with this—“Where does God want you? Exactly where you are.” Kyle began to disagree with this, but then changed his mind, providing an excellent demonstration of this fact: Jonah and the Big Fish. The question was “Well, was Jonah where God wanted Him?” The answer is a resounding “yes.” Jonah tried to do exactly the opposite of what God wanted him to do, and how did God react? He didn’t say “Oh, gosh, didn’t see that one coming, guess I have to change My plans!” He put Jonah in that fish so fast it would make your head spin! God has this way of putting us exactly where He wants us—despite our plans, fears, flaws, failures, doubts, insecurities, etc. 

This was such an enlightening moment not just for the trip as a whole, but for my entire life! I know I hear it (and say it!) all the time, but as lost as you may feel, you’re never far from where God wants you. Lauren said this to me just a couple months ago when I was telling her about Spain and my fears that I would miss out on something happening in Jacksonville or with my family or with my friends—we can never take God by surprise. He’s never caught off guard.

The fact is that God put this Ireland trip on Becca’s heart a long time ago. And He put Ireland on my brain and Aubrey’s brain, and called Nathan and Kyle specifically to Ireland, and inspired Kelly to sign up for specifically the Ireland trip. Each of us had reasons not to go on this trip, but we did anyway. God put us here at this specific time. God was also not surprised by the Queen’s trip to Dublin. He knew she was coming too! 

I know that each person on this trip has probably gotten at least a small amount of flack for coming on this trip. I personally am surrounded by generous and selfless missionaries who take trips frequently to South Africa. This seems like a “cushy” missions trip. Some dared to not even call it that—to my face! But here are the facts: less than one per cent of Ireland’s population are God-fearing Christians. The kids in the heart of Dublin live in absolutely desperate situations. Girls are raised to be tough and cold and mean as a means of survival, and boys are heartless and emotionless in how they communicate and relate to everyone around them. Dublin Christian Mission is the second oldest Christian Mission in Ireland, and they need all the help that they can get. I only wish I could have done more for them, honestly. All I have to offer is my time and my energy and that’s simply not enough. 

The Queen’s presence in Dublin also showed us a side of the Irish we very well may have never known had she not been here—that Ireland is a hurting nation. They have been oppressed and abused and torn down for centuries, and they still have walls up, and they’re still defensive, and they’re angry and hurt—but they are fighters. They will never give up and they will never back down. There were moments where I thought I was too tender-hearted for this trip; my feelings are hurt very easily, and these kids do not care. They are not always soft and cuddly and nice and encouraging and loving and warm. They are cold and bitter and hateful and mean. But they need people like me around, they need to see a more tender side to people—that outsiders do not always come to oppress. That’s why people like Liesel (from Canada) and Samaria (from El Salvador) and Martha (from the United States) are here! 

My heart aches for them, truly. And I hope to return soon and do more for them.

Each person on this team has learned a lot on this trip and will come back different from the people that they left as. We all shared last night the individual challenges we were each faced with and forced to deal with on this trip that, at least for myself, had been avoided until now. I wouldn’t have had this trip go any other way, and I am so thankful and joyful that this team got to be a part of the changes taking place in my life. I only hope I can continue to make these changes as I head back home to hit the ground running with school and work. I hope you’ll keep each one of us in your prayers as we readjust to life after Ireland.

Dublin—Day 7

Today had a simple plan. We were to go to the countryside with Billy, the director of DCM, and then head to DCM around 4 to prepare for tonight’s girls’ clubs. 

The countryside was beautiful! There aren’t sufficient words to describe it; the pictures will have to speak for themselves.

We walked around St. Kevin’s legacy, and toured Glendalough, the land that houses his church, a graveyard, and his bones, though no one is quite certain where they are. The oldest headstone death date I saw was 1736! Can you believe it? 

I’m totally fascinated with the age of everything here. What a rich history and culture! I feel like I’m learning so much. We also saw some of the scenery that was featured in P.S,. I Love You, so that was fun.

We got back to DCM a little later than expected due to traffic that was due to the Queen wandering the city. I went back to the hostel with Kelly and Becca to freshen up, and then headed back to DCM to meet Aubrey and make plans for the girls’ clubs. 

As we were deciding what to sing to them, Rochelle (super cool woman from South Africa) came in and told us that Samaria had gotten stuck across the city with all the girls for the club at a MacDonald’s in Kylemore, and that if we got on the Luas it would only take us about twenty minutes to get there. So we rushed to the Luas, got our tickets, and got on the Luas and sat. And sat. And sat. Finally an announcement came on and the man said “The Luas has been stopped for security reasons until further notice… that is all.” So, defeated, we headed back to DCM, where everyone who was there was leaving for the evening. More bad news: they had also blocked off all the bridges across the Liffey, so we also couldn’t get back the hostel. It was only 5:30PM, and Becca and the rest of the group were off somewhere else cleaning up after one of DCM’s camps, and we had no way of contacting them. 

Aubrey and I ended up wandering Henry Street and doing a little shopping while we waited for the Liffey bridges to open up. We had a nice time and found some cute little shops and trinkets and such.

We went back to the hostel with Kelly and waited for the others to arrive. When they did, they had a visitor with them—Martha, one of my new favorite people. She’s a missionary from Kansas who has made her current residence in Dublin, Ireland working with DCM. After making some dinner at the hostel, she took us to this great gelato place—my first time eating gelato—and showed us around the city. We got to see where U2 records when they’re in Dublin, and the area of town that they have, I suppose, been a huge part in renovating. There was graffiti everywhere from people who were thankful for U2’s influence on them and on Dublin, and it was beautiful to see. 

But even more fantastic than the sights we saw was getting to know Martha. I told her about how I was thinking of moving to Spain, and we talked a lot about the things a person has to realize when they live in a different country—the homesickness, the inability to simply go see your family whenever you want to, feeling like a stranger in a foreign place, learning new politics and ideas and ways of life. She gave me a lot to think about. We ended up talking for a couple of hours, walking around the city, and we had a wonderful time. 

Our plans have been destroyed and disastrous for the majority of this trip, but getting to know the people around here—the people who have left their homes to live somewhere else entirely—have been so encouraging to me, and I think we have been an encouragement to them, which is a ministry in itself. Even if we never get to work with the kids here one-on-one, we will have had the opportunity to be an encouragement and refresher for the people who do. To tell them how much we look up to them and aspire to be more like them in the future—to remind them the impact they are making even when they don’t feel they are.

I love this place. Aubrey, Nathan and Kyle are considering the Year Team for DCM, actually, and my heart is still pulling me to Barcelona. What an inspiration these people have been, and what an impact they’ve been on the team!

Dublin—Day 6

We woke up around 7AM and headed to Dublin Christian Mission’s summer campsite (the exact location of which I can’t quite remember). 

Nathan and Kelly dug a trench for the overflow from the pond and Aubrey, Becca, Kyle and I cleared brush and twigs and huge logs from the trails. This went on until about 2:30, with some lunch in between. The best part of my day was watching Kyle (who jumps over literally everything) attempting to jump the gate to let us in, only to have his heel clip the gate, resulting in what looked like a slightly painful fall. He took it much better than I would have, though—with a smile on his face and a good laugh about it. It was also great watching Aubrey get her galoshes stuck and unstuck from the super deep mud along the trails. I’m sure I was a beautiful sight myself doing the same thing. Overall it was a great time of fellowship (and exercise!).

We ran into some trouble heading back to the hostel—the Garda weren’t letting any cars cross the canal (because the Queen was about), so Billy, the Director of the DCM, dropped us off near the Luas station (the Luas is Dublin’s cable car system). When we arrived, however, there was a marquis saying delays were expected on the Luas. So we decided to walk. After about twenty minutes, and realizing we still had a long way to go, we decided to hop on the Luas at the next station we saw. We got all the way to the Four Courts with two hours until we had to be at the DCM for Wednesday club with the Junior Teens. We were all hurrying to shower, when Liesel showed up at the hostel with another change of plans—turns out, most of the kids lived on the other side of the canal, and thus could not get to the DCM because the roads were barricaded. So, Andrew (another DCM staff member) was going to drive them to another campsite for Wednesday club, and we were to take the Luis to Suir Street and meet them there. Becca went to an ATM and was just going to meet us at the Luas stop to head that way. Liesel stayed with the rest of us, and Aubrey and I had a chance to get to know her a little better (she’s super awesome). 

Once everyone was ready, we headed toward the Luas stop, which was just across the river. Literally, as we were walking up to the bridge, the Garda were barricading it, letting no cars or pedestrians cross. We ran to the next nearest bridge, and the same thing happened. It was so sad to see all the people trying to get home from work or trying to get to work, but were unable to because every block was barricaded from the next. 

This also meant the Becca was separated from us. We had no way to contact her, because none of us have cell phones, so Liesel quickly called Decko (another DCM staff member) and told him to fetch her from the Luas station and invite her into the Mission House until the barricades came down.

With nothing else to do, and no telling how long the barricades would be up, we all decided to treat Liesel to dinner. We went to the Bull & Shield Pub House, and Nathan was finally able to have his first Irish Guinness, while Kyle chose a red ale, and all the girls joined Liesel in a glass of Guinness (which is half a pint) and black currant, a juice or syrup of some sort. I don’t like Guinness at all, but this was delicious! Liesel said is was a very girly thing to add black currant to Guinness, and that ladies have glasses because they’re not so masculine as having a pint of it. She also educated us on the history of Guinness (did you know that the creator of Guinness says the recipe was God-given, and was actually the healthiest beer of its time?! People actually drank it for all the iron it contains, and women were given it when breastfeeding, and after people gave blood they were to drink a pint of Guinness! Liesel even said it was prescribed to a friend of hers not twenty years ago!). This was such a fantastic and relaxed hang out time for us, and we watched some of the Queen’s proceedings on the television. Becca was finally able to join us, and after eating dinner, we’ve just arrived back at the hostel.

This was such a wonderful night, and the change of plans was just what we needed after a long day of serious manual labor. I’m so thankful that we got to hang out with Liesel, and she said something that really encouraged me—when talking about why she decided to come to Ireland (she’s actually Canadian), she said “God doesn’t call us to do stuff that’s going to be easy, it’s always going to be hard.” This was just what I’ve needed to hear! Sometimes I let myself get discouraged when things get too difficult—I think “God must not want me here, because nothing seems to come easily or go the way it should—but that’s just the point, and it was proven today: it’s not about our plans, it’s about God’s. And it’s not about what’s easy, it’s about being in the center of God’s will, and letting yourself be encouraged by difficult circumstances. Satan is so scared of your success that he’ll do anything in his power to stop it. God is not the Creator of Chaos, he’s the God that changes our plans to line them up with his. This doesn’t make these things disorderly, but perfectly ordered to his will.

Dublin—Day 5

I started the day with some shopping with Aubrey and Kyle—Penneys on Henry Street is the bomb. For real.

We met the rest of the group at the Dublin Christian Mission around noon, and had a lovely lunch with Liesel (the correct spelling of her name, by the way), then spent a few hours cleaning the Mission house. Let me tell you, it needed a good, long cleaning.

Nathan, Kyle and I hung out with the Homework Club kids until about six. Kyle and Nathan had fun playing basketball with some of the girls (who play rougher than the boys, I think you should know). Afterward, we met the rest of the group at The Lighthouse and fed the homeless for the evening. Well, Kelly and Becca fed the homeless while Aubrey washed dishes and Nathan, Kyle and I folded and sorted clothes in the basement. It is amazing the treasure trove of stuff that we saw in that basement. So many nice clothes given from generous Irish hearts—but most of these could not be kept in the mission; The basement was already overflowing with clothing, so only the necessities—warm coats, long-sleeve shirts, pants—could be kept. I suppose it’s better that way though; better to have more than necessary than not have enough.

For dinner, we went to a Japanese restaurant, the name of which I can’t remember.  My apologies, but the dinner was relatively uneventful. 

But some topics of interest did come up that I want to reflect on—I recently saw a documentary about common misconceptions about Jesus—things like being born in a manger, and Gethsemane being an actual garden—and I thought it was super interesting! But others did not find these things as fascinating as me.

 

To be clear, my Christianity is by no means based on these facts, but I think it’s important to give a care about these sorts of things. Why wouldn’t you want to know as much about the man you believe to be the Son of God as possible? What do you say to someone who isn’t a Christian when they come at you with those issues? Are you simply going to respond “well, those things don’t matter.” They do matter! That’s God! That is Jesus Christ, God in the flesh, who walked the earth and died for you! If he was born in a basement and not a stable, I want to know about it! I want to soak up every bit of information that I can about him!

Phew, now take a breath with me. I didn’t mean to get anyone excited, but these I find these things fascinating. And I think that knowing who Jesus was when he walked this earth is so important. 

Once back at the hostel, I had the opportunity to unveil some things that have been weighing heavily on my heart to someone who needed to hear those things. This has been an issue for me for a while—I want justice in every situation possible. Part of this, for me, is making others aware when I end up hurt as a result of those actions. This is never an easy conversation—for either person. Usually, if I’m the one who’s hurt, I never get quite a satisfactory reply from the offending party. I would be lying if I said I’m totally satisfied with the reply in this conversation, but I feel like that kind of satisfaction and peace will continue to elude my as long as it depends on the other person. I’ve done my part, I’ve exposed as much of my heart as my trust level will allow, and I can do no more but trust that God is not going to fail me.

Edit:

In all my excitement, I forgot to mention that we also saw the Queen of England!  She is in Dublin, and it's the first time Royalty's been here in one hundred years, and also the first time since Irish independence. As I've previously stated, there are lost of mixed feelings about it among the people we've met. Some think it will be a step in the right direction, while others feel it's simply too soon for her to be here. She's cost Ireland millions of desperately needed euro, and it's difficult to understand why England isn't footing the bill for her stay.

I recorded a video of her riding in a car down the road along the Liffey (the river right outside our hostel!), and I'll be posting it on Facebook when I return to the United States.

Dublin—Day 4

Got to sleep in a little today, which was nice.

Went to Dublin Christian Mission around noon, had a meeting with Johno (?) and then some lunch and tea and a prayer meeting with the DCM group. 

Around 3 o’clock the kids for homework club showed up. They learn Irish as a language (which is what we call “Gaelic,” by the way). All the girls wanted to know who was dating who in our group, and then Kyle, Nathan, and Kelly stayed behind with them while Aubrey, Becca, and I went off with the four- to seven-year-olds to an indoor playground for some roughhousing and chips (french fries) and jellies (gummy bears). We had a blast.

When we returned, it was time for Monday Club with the seven- to twelve-year-olds. Aubrey, Kyle and I led some worship and Kelly and Becca shared a good word about forgiveness, which was so appropriate—the Queen of England will be in Dublin tomorrow, and there’s a whole bunch of strong emotions and opinions fluttering around town. Apparently, this is the first time in one hundred years that Royalty has been in Dublin, and the first time since Ireland won their independence. Also, Ireland has spent millions of taxpayer euros to prepare Dublin for her visit; naturally, lots of Irish people are upset about this. And others just don’t care. We prayed a lot for the Queen’s safety and for this spirit of bitterness and resentment to leave the Irish people. 

After worship and word, we split up into teams, and Kyle and I were with a group that was baking. Ironically (at least to me), all the kids in the baking group were boys; I did not vocalize my desire to chuckle at this, however. They baked “fairy cakes,” and when I inquired as to what those were, the lady leading asked “Do you know what Queen Cakes are?” When I responded in the negative, she replied “They’re like cupcakes, but not very sweet.” I am still not sure if this was an intentional joke.

Becca, Aubrey and I made the best assembly line of dish washers ever after all the baking was done, and then we talked some more with some of the DCM people about Irish vs. American culture. Apparently, “bastard” is the worst thing you could say to someone, and the “F word” is the most common one, and not received as offensive in any way. In fact, “F--- off” was a common phrase among the kiddies. I still thought this was strange, but none of the DCM leaders really stopped anyone or seemed offended. Also, soccer players yell and curse at refs here. We told them about American football players receiving technical fouls for even raising their voices at a ref. 

When we arrived back at the hostel, I refreshed myself with some Jon Owens worship music, and then we all had baked ziti by Becca. 

After a debriefing, I find myself sitting in the common room of the hostel with Kyle and Nathan (who is struggling: apparently, a professor from a class from last semester lost his final project, which resulted in a failing grade for the class. He needs the class to graduate, so naturally, he is quite stressed. :( ). I am about to put on some more worship music, pull out my Bible, hopefully Skype with Lauren and/or Erica and/or Danielle and then get some good sleep.

Dublin—Day 3

A great day!

Missed the alarm and woke up five minutes before we had to walk out the door to go to church. I’ve never seen a group of six people get ready so fast in my life!

Went to Trinity Church with Leasel, and I was excited to know four out of the five songs they sang. The message was good as well. After church, we had some tea and finger foods in the reception hall, then headed back to the hostel to catch up on showers, lunches, and e-mails.

From there, Becca, Aubrey, Nathan, Kyle and I decided to explore some of the city.

This began as a simple task. After a trip to McDonald’s (where, much to my delight, they did indeed have a Euro Menu), some cheesy souvenir shopping, and some Irish-music enjoying, we stumbled into a bookstore. If you know me, you know I love books, and I was interested in some particularly Irish books. The nice man at the bookstore we went to politely informed us that we could find such books at a bookstore about fifteen minutes walking distance from our location.

“Not a bad walk,” we thought, and decided to pursue this bookstore. Along the way, we listened to more Irish music, walked into more souvenir shops, and took our time. We felt a bit lost, so we went into another store to ask another polite Irish man where this particular bookstore was located, and he delightfully informed us that we were heading in the wrong direction, and so we turned around. Along the way, we stopped to ask for more directions, and another man told us to head in yet another direction. By now, it had grown much colder than the beautiful blue-sky day into which we had originally ventured. The sky was gray, and some tiny mists of rain had begun sputtering. After a frightful adventure through a shopping mall to find a restroom (which is not actually called a restroom here, but a “loo (sp?), toilet, or jacks), we decided to continue looking for this elusive bookstore.

It was now after six o’clock, and I was afraid the bookstore might be closed already. Furthermore, I felt completely responsible for taking the group on this inevitably fruitless journey. 

When we finally found the bookstore, it was indeed closed (“But at least now we know where it is!” Becca said, encouragingly), and it was now 6:30. We had told Kelly we’d be back at the hostel by six o’clock to meet her for dinner, and we were certain she was worried about us.  We began walking toward the river, because if we could find the river, we could find the hostel. This seemed like completely infallible logic. 

Surroundings became increasingly unfamiliar. And then more so. And then more so.

Finally, after about twenty minutes of walking, we decided to ask an older gentleman, who informed us that we had been walking in the opposite direction of the river for quite some time. By now it was raining—lightly, but raining nonetheless—and I was getting quite cold. 

We decide to hail a taxi, and Nathan asked him about how far we were. “Very far” was the only explanation I heard. After all, we had been walking for a sum total of three hours! With stops along the way, but still!

So we asked if he could give us a ride back to the hostel, but he could not because there were five of us, and told us we should wait for a van taxi. 

It wasn’t long before we ran into the street to stop a van taxi. Finally warm and dry(er), the nive taxi driver headed in the direction of our hostel. He could obviously tell we were not Irish, and began to question us accordingly: “Where are you from? Why are you here? How much drinking have you done?” “None yet!” was Kyle and Nathan’s response. “Seriously?” asked the taxi driver, and this introduced a semi-uncomfortable conversation, in the midst of which Nathan said something reminiscent of “No, we’re clean,” (Don’t worry, I slapped his arm for it). We told the taxi driver we were working with Dublin Christian Mission and The Lighthouse, and that we were doing missions work in Dublin for the duration of our stay. After telling us where the best Fish & Chips in town could be found, he dropped us just a block away from our hostel. 

Upon getting out of the taxi, he said to Kyle “Thanks for not trying to convert me!” and went on his merry way. 

After getting a good laugh of just how lost we had gotten ourselves, we nabbed Kelly from the hostel (by the way, she wasn’t worried about us. She thought we forgot about her), we walked (more walking!) to our restaurant destination. 

Fish & Chips with super vinegary ketchup and canned Coca-Colas filled our hungry bellies and stimulated our minds for some intriguing conversation about what being self-aware means and how the ministry could be so much better than it is.

I also learned something about myself—apparently, some people can’t tell when I’m joking. Here’s the thing: I’m not much of a kidder, because I’m not funny. But I can be really sarcastic. But I suppose some people just take my sarcasm seriously, which is discouraging. I just need a better kidder face. 

Here’s another thing: I am critical of the ministry and those in it, because God asks excellence of us. I refuse to sit back and say “Well, we’re only human, this is as good as it’s going to get.” God is so much bigger than that. I expect excellence from the ministry in which I’m involved. No one is perfect, but we should be ever striving for perfection.

 

I have a heart for lost people. My heart is broken for them, and I get super defensive when the Church lets them down. I have been there. My dear Church, I know we can be better. Let’s try harder. Let’s shake up our game. 

Also, on the topic of self-awareness: I consider myself self-aware. I am articulate in my own feelings and thought processes, and I know my triggers and boundaries. It’s not always easy to share these things about which you are self-aware with others, however. And sometimes, you don’t have to share those things. But I think as a body of ministers and believers, it’s very important that we can confide in each other our triggers and boundaries. How can we grow as a unit if we are avoidant and hesitant to share those things?

I am speaking to myself also. There are things I long to share with certain people, but I don’t feel I can. I am too afraid that they are not going to understand, so I keep quiet, and maintain brokenheartedness and sometimes even resentment within myself. Why have we created an environment in which people don’t feel they can be honest about absolutely anything?

It shouldn’t be this way. People will tell you that you can’t change the Church, but you can. She is the Bride of Christ, and sometimes the Bride needs a facelift. I think now is one of those times. The Church should be a please of safety and welcome, not intense fear of rejection.

These things are weighing heavily on my mind. Unfortunately, I’m also muddled with frustration in my own personal life. But these things will get better. “All things work together for good for those who love God.”